I have a probably unhealthy tendency to judge people right off the bat. I know, I know: don’t judge a book by its cover, walk a mile in a man’s shoes before you judge him, [insert quote about not judging people here]. It’s not that I judge people based on their appearance or language or any sort of physical markers, though. I don’t even judge them on any concrete personality attributes. I make a quick decision whether I am interested in getting close to someone or not based on an intuitive, indescribable, ambiguous feeling I get. I can’t seem to figure out what it is about a person that gives me this feeling, but it tends to be very accurate. I like nearly everyone who I get the feeling about very much.
I guess I’d call it a vibe, for lack of a better word. I really do think people emit a certain energy, or wavelength, and some of us are better at perceiving those than others. There’s nothing wrong with being unable to sense a person’s vibe- in fact, it’s probably better, because you’re more likely to be open to all kinds of people. Those of us who sense vibes probably miss out on relationships with people we would really like but dismissed as not feeling quite right.
I bring this concept up because I was in the Dominican Republic a few weeks ago on a service project. One of our counselors gave me excellent vibes, and I ended up feeling closer to her than I have to another female in a long time (I say female because my boyfriend always feels close). I wouldn’t have opened up and talked to her if I hadn’t gotten the go-ahead vibe, and we are now in e-mail communication. She’s 25 and the closest thing I have to a role model in my life.
I think there are pros and cons to living a life of gut feelings and intuitive judgements. Perhaps it does save me lots of time and energy getting to know people I just don’t connect with. When I do get a good vibe, it’s infinitely easier for me to open up to a person than when the vibe is absent. Getting that feeling erases a lot of my shyness that inhibits me from getting close to new people.
At the same time, as I said before, I’m afraid my tendency to rely on my intuitive judgements limits me. I get good vibes about people about as often as I make best friends (a very rare occurrence). I do believe that every human being on the planet is interesting, worthy of care, and has an important story to tell, but I still feel myself drawn towards some people and away from others for reasons I can’t logically explain.
The question is, should we try to let go of our intuitive processes? Do they do harm, or ultimately protect us from being hurt and wasting time pursuing relationships that aren’t for us? Do you get intuitive feelings, and if so, how do you manage them?
I talk about balance a whole lot, so I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I suppose balance is where I’m heading in terms of vibes. I need to learn to hear my vibes, honor them, but not follow them like a Bible. There are times when I need to be protected and stay in a safe interpersonal space, and times when I certainly need to branch out more and try to form meaningful relationships with people I’m not attracted to right off the bat.
I’ll never give up my sensitivity to vibes altogether, though. That much I know for sure. It’s not a psychic process by any means, but I do think there’s more to it than an educated guessing game. Nothing makes me happier than finding someone whose vibe is identical to mine, starting up a conversation, and being surprised when hours have passed and I’ve shared things with them in the first few hours of knowing them that I wouldn’t share with other people after months of cultivating a relationship.
I don’t believe in soul mates in the romantic, one-in-7-billion sense, but perhaps our souls or inner energies do operate on wavelengths that we don’t completely understand. Maybe a few hundred thousand other people on this planet share my wavelength, and I can meet a few dozen of them during my lifetime. That’s not to say they are the only people worth getting to know- that’s like saying the only person I should ever talk to is my future husband because he’s the most important in my life. All it means is that I might have a select few people enter my life that I can connect with almost immediately, in a way that leaves me at complete peace and with a mind bubbling with new ideas. I can still build other relationships, but it’s comforting to think there are a few other souls out there who I will get the privilege of meeting and connecting with in a way neither of us can quite comprehend.
Do you think there are different wavelengths among humans, and if so, can you sense them too? Or am I delusional?
If there are wavelengths, I believe many of you are on mine. Your comments, especially from many of the younger ones of you, surprise, inspire, and change my view of the world every time I read them. I’m so honored to have a group of people who seem to connect with my work on an intuitive basis. I’m so fond of all of you, and if I ever get to meet any of you in person, I’m sure I’ll get those good vibes right away.